The Worst First Date
by Lilymaid620
Summary: Murphy's Law is at play on Luna and Neville's first date, everything keeps going wrong. Will they be able to salvage this and manage to start their relationship off right? Takes place during the Deathly Hallows at Hogwarts while the Golden Trio is hunting horcruxes. Oneshot. Part of my Love and Dirigible Plums Luneville series.


**The Worst First Date**

"Okay, Neville, you can do this. It's just a date. Just a date. Just a date with Luna… just a date with the girl you've fancied for ages." Neville Longbottom groaned and slumped forward against the mirror. He'd been trying this psyching up method that Ginny had suggested, it was not going well. He looked around his room. It had been so empty lately, not that it wasn't understandable since three of his roommates were gone thanks to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (even in his head Neville was nervous to call him by his name). Ron and Harry were wanted and off doing who knows what with Hermione to try to defeat He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. And poor Dean Thomas was a muggle-born, a deadly thing to be right now and had gone into hiding. Neville thought about them every time he saw their empty beds and hoped they were oka. Wizards and witches were disappearing constantly now and you were never really sure who had gone into hiding or who had been taken Death Eaters. Thinking about it Neville felt stupid for being so nervous about a date.

Honestly, he hadn't even been sure if he should be going on a date. He, Ginny, and Luna were trying to keep Dumbledore's Army going, waiting for Harry and the rest to return and help them fight. During that time he and Luna had become even closer than before, which was fantastic since he'd fancied her since about midway through fifth year. Any other time he would have asked her out… okay, his friends would've still had to force him to ask her out but it would've been his whole focus. But they were at war and literally training an army and fighting against the Carrows' and Snape's control of Hogwarts. It felt wrong to focus on anything besides fighting and defending themselves and others as best they could. It had taken weeks upon weeks for Ginny, Seamus, and even some of the other D.A. members to convince him to ask Luna out. The methods had varied (Seamus had even threatened to set him on fire, a threat Neville took very seriously as the smallest breath of wind could make Seamus set something on fire accidentally) but what had convinced him to do it was Ginny. She told him to stop being so dramatic and just ask her out cause yes, they were at war but that meant they needed to appreciate the good in life more. And she would give anything to be able to go out with Harry again.

Faced with this argument Neville found himself blurting out to Luna that he wanted to go on a date with her after a D.A. meeting while they were waiting for the coast to be clear so that they could leave the Room of Requirement without running into the Carrows or Filch (although he and Mrs. Norris seemed to be looking the other way more lately, probably due to his dislike of the Carrows, it still wasn't worth the risk that he couldn't let them slide this time). It wasn't exactly how Neville had wanted it to go. For one thing, he'd said it so fast it had come out as one word that he practically shouted at her, "DOYOUWANTTOGOOUTSOMETIME?" In retrospect had taken the time to think about what he was going to say he would over thought it and it probably would've come out all muddled and stuttered like his answers back when Snape taught potions. Miraculously Luna had somehow understood him and agreed immediately. Somehow her saying yes had because the best thing he'd ever heard, even better than his great-uncle Algie telling him that he'd gotten him a Mimbulus Mimbletonia for his birthday.

So here Neville was, getting ready for his first date… ever! His throat was dry and he was so sweaty he was sure that it looked like he had gone swimming in the lake for aquatic plants (a notion he had briefly considered back in his first year until he found out about the giant squid and then the mermaids fourth year). Could he even do this? The only experience he'd had even remotely close to a date was taking Ginny to the Yule Ball fourth year. And even though it hadn't really been a date and they'd both been clear that they were just friends, he'd been ridiculously nervous. And now this, with Luna. It was so so SO much worse because he really liked her.

"Okay, you got this. You've been running the D.A. since Harry left. You tried to break into Snape's office to steal the Sword of Gryffindor. True, you failed… Oh god, what if you fail again. Just look at Harry and Cho. That was a disaster and he was bloody Harry Potter. No, no, NO! I can do this. This is going to be okay. It's Luna. She likes me already and her last boyfriend didn't get killed by a dark wizard who wants to rule the wizarding war last year… at least I think she didn't have a dead boyfriend. Cripes, I'm not even sure if she likes me! I should've stuck to plants, they make more sense than girls. Maybe if I think of Luna as a plant? But what would she be? Something pretty and whimsical. Like a moonflower. That's it, I'll treat Luna like a moonflower. That means she needs a lot of moonlight, so I should put her by a window at night… What did I just say!"

"Pretty sure you just sad you needed to put Luna by a window at night for the moonlight, mate." Neville turned to see Seamus Finnigan, the only one of his roommates not on the run from the dark lord, standing in the doorway.

"How much did you hear?"

"Just the bit about you treating Luna like a plant, but trust me, that's bad enough." Neville slumped to the floor.

"I have no idea what to do when it comes to girls. It's not easy like plants."

"Don't look at me, mate. Last time I even talked to a girl, I accidentally lit her hair on fire."

"Is that why Susan Bones stopped talking to you and changed her hair."

"Probably. But if you want my advice?"

"I'll take any advice at this point."

"Well, from what Dean told me, being there on time is probably a good start." Neville bolted up.

"What time is it!"

"Almost three, weren't you supposed to meet Luna at two-thirty?" Instead of answering Neville grabbed his jacket and dashed out the door. "I'll take that as a yes."

* * *

By the time Neville had made it onto the castle grounds, it was a quarter past three. He'd actually gotten there faster than he usually did thanks to his falling down the stairs as he'd tried to run down them while shoving his jacket over his jumper sleeves. Once again Neville Longbottom that he could not multi-task and he had some very colorful bruises and a group of horrified Hufflepuff second-years who'd been trying to go up the same staircase he'd toppled down to prove this case. At this point, all of Neville's fears about his date ideas had vanished. He was just hoping that Luna would still be waiting for him even though he was horribly late. They'd agreed to meet up by the training grounds where they'd had flying classes first year.

As Neville got closer his heart sank. He could see the training grounds from here and they were barren, not even a wisp of silvery, blonde hair or hint of a dirigible plum earring. Of course. Why did he even get his hopes up on the way down here? He was 45 minutes late, there was no way that someone, even someone as fantastic and special as Luna Lovegood, still be waiting for him after all that time. Leave it to him to get so lost in his nervousness that he managed to bungle the first date he ever had with the girl he really fancied before the date even started. Neville plopped down in the grass of the training ground and let his head drop to rest on the arms he'd crossed on his knees.

Neville was fully set to wallow in his own stupidity when he felt a hand lightly tap his shoulder. He looked up and stared in amazement into the eyes of the very girl he was sure had gone home, Luna Lovegood.

"Oh, good, here you are Neville. I'm sorry, were you waiting long? I was sure I saw a dapperblimp in the lake when I was coming over here and I had to stop and look for it. I quite lost track of time, especially when I stopped to try to have a conversation with the Giant Squid. My father wrote an excellent article on basic Squiddish in the Quibbler this summer and I just had to see if my accent was correct."

"But… You… And I… And moonflowers… I thought you went back to Ravenclaw Tower when I was late."

"Oh, no. It seems to me that we're both right on time. Besides, hours and clocks are just silly. I haven't used them since I lost my watch third year, although I do suspect nargles were involved. They seem to want to make me late, but you can't possibly be late if you show up right when you need to. Don't you agree, Neville?" Neville was positive that had anyone else heard Luna talk like this they would've thought her mad. But something about what she said and the way she said it so blithely stuck with Neville, who had been running late since before he was even born (according to his grandmother he'd been born a week and a half past the due date the doctors at St. Mungos had given his mother).

"That sounds perfectly right Luna," Neville said as he stood up and brushed the grass off of his trousers. "Now then, we should go on our… our…" the word seemed stuck in his throat. Neville took a deep breath. "Date?"

"Of course, but it is chilly. Don't you think you ought to be wearing a scarf?" She wasn't wrong. It was late October and even though it was a fine day, it was still rather brisk outside. Luna herself was wrapped up in her pink coat, a dark blue knit hat, sparkly gray leggings with a matching scarf, a black skirt with silver shooting stars across it, and electric blue knee socks that were patterned with… moonflowers. Neville decided to ignore the irony of this and just appreciate that she's found her strawberry trainers for the occasion. "When wankspurts get cold in weather like this, they do like to hide in people heads. But they really dislike wool scarves. I always carry extra if you need one." Knowing Luna she had more than just extra scarves in her bag, which happened to have a rather lovely daisy pattern.

"No thanks, Gran spelled my jacket so that my scarf is always in the pocket. All I have to do is reach in and…" Neville dropped off as he fumbled around in his pocket. No scarf. He reached into the other. No scarf, but there was the hat Gran had knitted for him, he'd thought it had fallen out of his school bag. That's when he remembered. The spelled jacket had been lost on the train last year at the end of term. Gran hadn't gotten a chance to spell this one. Come to think of it, he'd lost his scarf too. "Sorry, that was my other jacket. I really could use an extra scarf if you'd lend me one." Luna smiled her bright dreamy smile and reached into her bag, producing a warm looking Ravenclaw scarf.

"I'm sorry that it's not a Gryffindor scarf, but I did make it myself so it should be quiet warm and keep away the wankspurts." Neville could care less that this wasn't his house, Ginny had "convinced" Michael Corner to lend his scarf to Neville more than once when they were dating and he'd even borrowed Hannah Abbott's once before promptly losing it which hadn't gone over well. Instead what Neville chose to focus on was that Luna had MADE this scarf herself and it smelled just like her. Like sunflowers, woods, and a bit of dirigible plum. This was quite possibly the best, most perfect scarf in the world in Neville's opinion.

"It's perfect." He insisted and nervously held out his hand to Luna, hoping she'd just assume his nervous shaking was just a reaction to the cold. Whether she noticed or not she took his hand and Neville got to relish in the feeling of her hand, warm in his. He prayed his hands weren't too cold for her because he didn't want anything to ruin this feeling for either of them.

"So where are we going for our date, Nev? I've been wondering about it all week," she queried as they started walking. Neville couldn't blame her. Ever since the Carrows had taken over it was becoming more and more difficult for anyone besides the Slytherins to have any privileges, especially since the Carrows were after them in particular.

"We're going to Hogsmeade." Luna looked surprised. Before they could've gone to Hogsmeade on one of the visits and gotten a butterbeer or gone to Honeydukes, but now only the children of Death-Eaters were able to visit Hogsmeade. That didn't stop Neville from wanting to give Luna a great date like she might have had any other year. They'd just have to be a bit sneaky about it. "Harry told me about a couple of secret passages that he used to take back in third year when he wasn't allowed to go before he left."

"Are you sure that's safe?" Normally Neville would've said no but he wanted to be brave for Luna. For some reason, she didn't realize he was a big coward and he was more than happy to let her continue to have that impression.

"It is so long as we don't get caught entering the passage. The Carrows are busy with detention today." They both shuddered. They'd been getting lucky so far, only getting detention in the forbidden forest with Hagrid, which was hardly a punishment. But they'd heard rumors about what the Carrows did to students their 'detentions' and the methods mentioned seemed more akin to torture than a consequence for breaking rules. The other teachers, much like Filch and Mrs. Norris, seemed to be taking pity on the students and supporting their rebellion and only really gave them detention if someone else witnessed them witnessing the rule-breaking. All of the students understood that while the teachers didn't want to give them detention, any act of defiance towards the Carrows and their rules by student or teacher could be met with a terrible fate. It was a terrifying game of calculated risks, but one Neville would try to play to give Luna what she deserved.

"So where is the secret passage?" she asked.

"The one Harry told me about was behind the statue of the one-eyed witch by the stairs of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. But that's probably too close to the Carrows. But he did tell me about another one out here. It's under the Whomping Willow and you have to press the knot to get the passage. And I have just the way to get to it." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wriggling bag.

"Moon Frogs?"

"Actually, bouncing bulbs. If we release them by the Whomping Willow then it'll be distracted so we can press the knot and get to Hogsmeade." This had taken a great deal of planning on Neville's part. An earlier incarnation of the plan had featured training Trevor to go jump on the knot, but Neville hadn't wanted to run the risk of his beloved toad vanishing and ending up in the hands of the Carrows. Trevor still had his wanderlust and fortunately seemed to be keeping it mostly in check this year, but Neville still didn't want to tempt fate. Thus he had settled on the bouncing bulbs.

"Fascinating. I'm disappointed you didn't get your hand on some moon frogs, but this should be quite interesting. I wonder if bouncing bulbs are from the same area as the leaping barryglow." Neville had no idea what a leaping barryglow was or if it lived in the same area as bouncing bulbs, but he did know that Luna was probably the only one who appreciated his magical plant-based solutions to problems.

"I'm not sure, but we are almost at the Whomping Willow," he said with a smile, turning to see the tree and what was beneath it. His face fell. Neville had spent enough time in the greenhouses to know that shape even at a distance. Professor Sprout was beneath the currently frozen Whomping Willow. He'd been prepared to try to sneak under the willow and had even accounted for the Carrows being busy with detention. What he hadn't counted on was Professor Sprout performing her monthly check on the Whomping Willow, a task he'd previously assisted with. He knew how long the checkup lasted and there was no way they could get past Sprout and be back before the Carrows were done with detention. His perfect date plan was going up in smoke. Luna sent his a sympathetic look before Professor Sprout noticed them.

"Ah, Mr. Longbottom and Miss Lovegood. What are you two doing out here on his fine day."

"Just going for a walk professor," Neville replied with a plausible excuse.

"By the Whomping Willow?" Okay, maybe not as plausible as he had originally thought. How many students went walking by a homicidal tree. Just because Harry and Ron had flown a car into it, did not mean that it was a popular hangout.

"I thought I saw a speckled harlifling over here, Professor, but I think it got away before we could see it more clearly. And then Neville saw you over here and thought we might say hello."

"I see." Neville was quite sure that based on the tone of Professor Sprout's voice she had about as much of a clue about what a speckled harlifling was as he did. "Well, that was very kind of you two."

"How's the Whomping Willow today Professor?" he asked.

"Not quite it's usual perky self. I've checked it over and I've tried everything, but it's getting the proper amount of sun and rain. Not even my special dragon dung fertilizer is helping."

"Oh, I do hope it'll be okay. It's such a spirited plant," Luna said with genuine concern in her voice, once again proving that she was the only person besides Neville who really appreciated strange and possibly deadly plants.

"I think it's depressed. Plants can sense the mood in the atmosphere around them. It can be quite detrimental to their health if they don't get the proper care." Even the Whomping Willow knew that there was something wrong with Hogwarts, although Professor Sprout was careful not to mention it aloud. The walls did have ears.

"Do you need any help, Professor?" Neville asked. Why not, his date was ruined anyway.

"Oh no dearie, but thank you. I'm more than capable of tending to the tree myself. You two should go and enjoy the day. I'm sure I'll have the tree back to its usual, whomping self in no time."

"If you're sure?" Luna said.

"Of course go, go. And be careful you two." She didn't have to say anything beyond that. They both knew exactly what she was cautioning them about. The two of them said their goodbyes and walked away in silence. Neville felt terrible. This wasn't at all how he had planned for this date to happen. He'd been late, they couldn't even try to sneak into Hogsmeade, and he'd even forgotten his scarf. This whole date had fallen to pieces and there was nothing he could do to save it. He should've known that any date that he went on would be a disaster. He should've just let Luna go and just stuck to plants. She didn't deserve this, him and his failures. She deserved so much better. Neville should have stuck to plants.

"Nev, are you okay?" He looked over to see Luna's light blue eyes filled with concern looking at him.

"I'm so sorry Luna. I wish I could give you the date you deserve."

"What do you mean?"

"You deserve a perfect date in a better place, a better time, a better guy."

"But what if I don't want that?" Neville was confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Neville you surely must have realized that the others think I'm mad, that I'm 'loony'." Neville had never cared for that nickname even though he knew Luna could care less. He knew all too well how other's cruel words could hurt thanks to Draco Malfoy and his goons. "Yes, if I had been out today with someone else, he probably would have been there on time. But I would've still been late looking for the dapperblimp and practicing my Squiddish. Do you really think someone else would have waited that long?" Probably not, everyone but Neville tended to be pretty punctual. "And do you think anyone else would have listened to me about the wankspurt like you did/ Or would have even gone to the trouble of planning a way to get past the Whomping Willow to take me to Hogsmeade and risk detention?" Neville was beginning to see Luna's point. For some reason, most people didn't see how brilliant Luna really was, but he certainly did. Still…

"But everything is a mess and we've got nothing to do for our date." Luna shrugged.

"Messy is quite lovely at times, don't you think? And I've been having a wonderful time so far. I was actually really hoping that we would get the chance to spend more time together." Neville was surprised.

"Really?"

"Oh yes, I've quite fancied you since last year when you offered to help me study for my Herbology O.W.L." Neville felt all the blood rush to his face.

"Really?"

"Really. I think you are actually quite sweet, brave, and handsome, Neville. Ever since I met you fourth year on the train."

"Even when I covered us in stinksap?" WHY DID HE REMIND HER OF THAT!

"Yes, I found your Mimbulus Mimbletonia quite interesting." She even remembered his plant's name. Could there honestly be a more perfect girl in the world?

"I've actually fancied you since you wore the lion hat for the Gryffindor and Slytherin Quidditch match two years ago." Something about seeing her enthusiastic support for her friends and be so unabashedly unique and herself had struck Neville and he couldn't help but fancy her.

"I had no idea, should I have worn it today?" Neville smiled.

"I think it's best to save that for Quidditch can be quite intimidating to the other team when it roars."

"You're right, that probably is for the best." Neville had an idea and found himself blushing a deeper crimson than the Gryffindor crest.

"Uh… Luna?"

"Yes, Nev?"

"I was just...uh...er wondering… if… um if I could…"

"Would you like to kiss me, Neville?" He had never been more thankful for her blunt honest nature.

"Yes, if you wouldn't mind?" It felt like he had swallowed the whole bag of bouncing bulbs.

"I think I would actually quite enjoy it." With that, she leaned towards him. Well Neville, no better test of the 'bravery' that got you in your house than right now. Doing perhaps the scariest thing since he'd snuck into the Department of Mysteries fifth year, Neville Longbottom leaned in and kissed Luna Lovegood square on the mouth, eyes screwed shut in fear and excitement.

In terms of kisses, it was fairly short. But her mouth was soft and she tasted like strawberries and smelled like sunshine and flowers, so in Neville's opinion, it was the most perfect kiss in the history of kisses. When he pulled away and opened his eyes she gave him a beatific smile. Neville was certain he had his own goofy grin plastered across his face.

"I was right. I did enjoy that a lot. What about you?" Neville was speechless but his face must have said enough because her smile grew and she took his hand. "Would you like to go to the Forbidden Forest? Last time I was in there with Hagrid for detention we saw some bowtruckles in a Wiggentree close to the edge of the forest and they're changing to there fall colors. It's quite beautiful and fascinating. Also, I still need help naming half of them." Neville nodded. He'd always loved bowtruckles, they were the perfect combination of plant and animal, although right now Luna probably could've taken him to join the Death Eaters and he wouldn't care. As they walked off towards the Forbidden Forest Neville regained the ability to speak.

"That was some quick thinking with Sprout back there."

"Thank you. I've found that when I start talking about creatures people tend to stop asking me questions, including the professors."

"Even Snape?"

"Especially Snape. He says it's not worth the effort. I'm surprised it worked though. Everyone knows that the speckled harlifling is only native to Indonesia." Neville highly doubted that anyone besides the Lovegoods knew that, but he just smiled instead.

"Just like the Amorphopha Gumtree."

"Really? I wonder if that's part of their diet. Can you tell me about it?" Neville was glowing.

"Well, the Amorphopha Gumtree is only native to the rainforests on the Indonesian island of Sulawesi…"

* * *

 **This story is the first (timeline wise) of my Love and Dirigible Plums Luneville series that will cover Neville and Luna's love story from when they start dating to when they get married and have kids. Feel free to check the rest of them out. Keep reading, following, favoriting, and reviewing!**

 **~ Mallorie a.k.a. Lilymaid620**


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